1. |
Tits & Whiskey
01:37
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Fast cars and explosions
Party hats and motion lotion
Let’s go down to the ocean
And break out the tits and whiskey
Fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me
I am Ernie’s rubber ducky
Kiss me kiss me kiss me kiss me
Let’s break out the Tits and Whiskey
It has to be filthy
I’m ripe and I’m healthy
I wish I was wealthy
So fuck the rhythm and let’s break out the tits and whiskey
‘cause that shows we’re anarchists
Fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me
I am Ernie’s rubber ducky
Kiss me kiss me kiss me kiss me
Let’s break out the tits and whiskey
I’m all about right now
And everything I do is fowl
So get out another motel towels
To wipe up the tits and whiskey
Fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me
I am Ernie’s rubber ducky
Kiss me kiss me kiss me kiss me
Let’s break out the tits and whiskey
Tits and whiskey
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2. |
Piss Off
01:54
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Piss off the wrong people and they send you to jail
Piss off the right people and they tell you you’re charming
I said, “how come we never kiss when we’re sober?”
and he said, “Mary, you ask too many questions.”
I hope I’m never satisfied
Yeah, I hope I’m never satisfied
Rip off the wrong people and they send you to jail
Rip off the right people and they say you show initiative
I said, “how come we only fuck when you want to?”
and he said, “Mary, you ask too many questions.”
I hope I’m never satisfied
Yeah, I hope I’m never satisfied
Piss on the wrong people and they send you to jail
Piss on the right people and they say you’re an artist
I said, “how come you never tell me you love me?”
he said, “I don’t and that’s enough with the questions.”
I hope I’m never satisfied
Yeah, I hope I’m never satisfied
And it feels so good to be misunderstood
It feels so good to be misunderstood
It feels so good to be misunderstood, yeah
It feels so good, yeah it feels so good
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3. |
Mac & Cheese
01:30
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All I want’s a boy to make me some mac & cheese
All I want’s a boy to make me some mac & cheese
Just straight-up mac with no franks or peas
But every boy who’s made me mac and cheese
Has always turned out to be a violent sociopath
All I want’s a boy to make me some brussels sprouts
All I want’s a boy to make me some brussels sprouts
He’d know me inside and out
But every boy who’s made me brussels sprouts
Has always turned out to be a violent sociopath
All I want’s a boy to make me iced tea from a powder
All I want’s a boy to make me iced tea from a powder
But when I yell for joy he yells louder
‘Cause every boy who’s made me tea from a powder
Has always turned out to be a violent sociopath
All I want’s a boy who’s not a violent sociopath
All I want’s a boy who’s not a violent sociopath
Love him ‘til my dying breath
Man, fuck the food I’ll starve to death
If I can just find a boy who’s not a violent sociopath
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4. |
Blue Skies Over Dundalk
01:29
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There’ll be angels making music in the air
There’ll be magic – love for all of us to share
There’ll be blue skies over Dundalk when I break your heart
There’ll be flowers blooming happy in the sun
There’ll be O’s fans goin’ down the ocean, hon
There’ll be blue skies over Dundalk when I break your heart
I never meant to hurt you, mi diablo, mi amigo
But I built up so much character I have an alter ego
And I have to make a clean break and I have to do it quick
‘Cause the pain you give me, babe would make Cal Ripken call in sick
There’ll be ravens blocking tackles in the sky
There’ll be cans of Natty Boh for you and I
There’ll be blue skies over Dundalk when I break your heart
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5. |
Sadie Hawkins Day
02:44
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Well it’s early in the AM and I’m feelin’ kinda blind
Got tequila on my t-shirt, desperation on my mind
In just a couple days now I’ll be turnin’ seventeen
And I got this little streak in me that’s twenty times mean
Dress it up more like a high school whore
Won’t leave ‘til I get what I come for
Don’t like parties but they get me drunk
And my ship’ll come in before I’m sunk
Well it’s early in the AM and I’m feelin’ kinda stewed
And the drug that fills my system puts me in a reckless mood
Wanna drink a little rum and have a lot of sex
Doin’ everything the opposite that dear old dad expects
Gonna dress it up more like a high school whore
Won’t leave ‘til I get what I come for
Don’t like parties but they get me laid
And I’m off no better if I left or stayed
Well it’s early in the AM and I’m feelin’ kinda trashed
Somebody found a six-pack that he didn’t know he’d stashed
Said I’d fuck ‘im for a Mickey, said I’d fuck ‘im for a light
Won’t be the only actress at this curtain call tonight
Secret smile in his eyes, a bonfire in his hair
And the lace upon the push-up bra reminds me why it’s there
It’s early in the morning and the sky is turning grey
And I’m punching in his ticket ‘cause it’s Sadie Hawkins Day
Dress it up, baby – this girl’s no lady
And she doesn’t want to be ignored
Heart like granite, where’s the vodka, dammit?
When I’m stone-cold sober I’m stone-cold bored
Dress it up more like a high school whore
Won’t leave ‘til I get what I come for
Don’t like parties but I feel alright
And I’ll be back again tomorrow night
Tomorrow night
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6. |
Breakfast
01:44
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This is the song with all the things in it
This song was written to impress Jodie Foster
Oh baby, work it all night long
That bottle of Aunt Jemima better stop talking to me
She’s making too much goddamned sense
She says, “how’d you get your head to be so big
And your body to be so little?”
And I don’t have the heart to rip her head off
And pour syrup on my pancakes
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck
You’re not my problem – I’m my problem
Why why why why why he said
Rosanna Arquette doesn’t look a thing like Madonna
And you’d have to be a moron
To desperately seek either one
This tattoo won’t come off
I thought it was the lick ‘em stick ‘em kind
But I couldn’t figure out what that machine was for
Or why I was in so much pain
Def Leppard tribute!
Photograph, I don’t want your
Photograph, I don’t need your
Photograph – all I’ve got is a
Photograph – I wanna touch you
That bottle of Aunt Jemima better stop talking to me
She’s making too much goddamned sense
I’m really stoned and I think mom
Put acid in my orange juice again
“You big huge phallic representation of mankind,”
She says to my juice glass
And she turns to me and says something about
How she hates being a stupid fucking racial stereotype
Fuck yeah
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7. |
Green Eggs & Hamlet
01:19
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Hey now Ophelia
Are you goin’ for a swim?
Yeah, your man’s done you wrong
So whatcha gonna do to him?
Any Dane’ll tell you, girlie
You take a chance with one-night stands
Got a pocket full of posies
And a lily in your hands
Hey now Ophelia
Gonna be or not to be, child?
Swirling in the icy water
Get thee to a nunnery
Any Dane’ll tell you, girlie
You take a chance with one-night stands
Got a pocket full of posies
And a lily in your hands
Such a shame that our affairs from England come too late
That Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead
There’s something rotten in this state
Into the depths we go
Watch out for the undertow
The tide is high today
Watch you don’t get swept away
Watch you don’t get swept away
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8. |
Student Loan
01:21
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I’m on the road I won’t be back again
I’m on the road I won’t be back again
I been gone since god knows when
With this guitar my only friend
‘Cause I can’t afford to pay my student loan
Collection agents barking on my trail
Collection agents barking on my trail
They tap my phones, they read my mail
They say they’ll throw me straight in jail
If I fail to pay my student loan
My sweet lover said he’d wait for me
My sweet lover said he’d wait for me
But when I came back what did I see
But a girl on his arm with a bachelor’s degree
She already paid her student loan
So I’m gonna sit and play this here guitar
I’m gonna sit and play this here guitar
‘Cause if I play this here guitar
Maybe David Geffen will make me a star
Then I could pay back my student loan
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9. |
Mercyfuck
02:47
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I’m not amused anymore
And nothing’s a muse anymore
I sing of love and of hate
But I’m just masturbating my soul
And I don’t wanna live anymore
And I don’t wanna give anymore
If I fawn if I flirt, I just keep getting hurt
And it’s taken its toll
I wish I could fuck all my sorrow away
And fuck ‘til the dawn of the next fucking day
Fuck the chorus and verse, fuck the pain getting worse
Fuck it all ‘til I burn
I wish I could fuck all of you ‘til you see
I’m the worst fuck-up in all history
Fuck your image and mine, fuck your limp valentine
Fuck it all ‘til I learn
I’m not a kid anymore
I don’t know what I did anymore
But on every damn pass, karma bushwhacks my ass
And I get it all back
And I don’t want to move anymore
I’ve got nothing to prove anymore
If I run if I sit still it all turns to shit
Then it turns to attack
I wish I could fuck all my sorrow away
And fuck ‘til the dawn of the next fucking day
Fuck the chorus and verse, fuck the pain getting worse
Fuck it all ‘til I burn
I wish I could fuck all of you ‘til you see
I’m the worst fuck-up in all history
Fuck your image and mine, fuck your limp valentine
Fuck it all ‘til I learn
I wish I could fuck all the memory I keep
Fuck the next ten years and just go to sleep
I’m fucked if I do and I’m fucked if I say
I’m fucked if I don’t, so I’m fucked anyway
I wish I could fuck all of you ‘til you see
I don’t need your mercyfuck sympathy
Fuck your words and your prayers
Fuck your stares and my cares
Fuck it all ‘til I learn
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10. |
Valentine
02:15
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Don’t give a damn what it’s all about
I just want to see how it all turns out
Mind’s skin tight but my skin’s so loose
Everclear is apple juice, I’m swinging from a liquid noose
Get me drunk and get in line
I’m everybody’s valentine
Meet me in a few more sips
Kiss my red apocalips
I will never be ignored
I may be a slut but I’m never bored
I’ll go down on anything
Cage that bird and watch her sing
High on life but it’s not mine
Everybody’s valentine
Damaged goods all bought and sold
Cunt’s cast iron but my heart’s pure gold
Drunk is – opening a wound half-healed
Drunk is – every little fantasy revealed
Drunk is – babble on ‘til everybody thinks they see your soul, yeah
Drunk is – going from control freak to a freak with no control
Fill my hole with cum and wine
I’m everybody’s valentine
This bitter little mouth is my only claim to fame
‘Cause once you’ve given head nothing ever tastes the same
Drunk is – opening a wound half-healed
Drunk is – every little cruelty revealed
Drunk is – turning my shame into my pride
Drunk is – always a bridesmaid, never a bride
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11. |
Mata Hari (acoustic)
01:42
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Once upon a time there was a cotton candy slut
Who would’ve been a beauty if she kept her mouth shut
Polyester princess getting’ pretty plenty play
Tore up from the floor up, man and this is what she’d say
“I’m so sexy, I’m so sorry – bargain basement Mata Hari
My proportions epidemic – just a bimbo with a gimmick.”
Has a man she keeps on hand for when she needs a fix
Every time he kisses her he tastes like other chicks
That’s all fine, ‘cause she don’t mind it if he isn’t true
Plenty more where he came from and they all want her too
She’s so super, she’s so swell – cut-throat, cut-rate jezebel
No one’s drone nobody’s fool – grows her own and owns her cool
Boys’ll come and boys’ll go – it doesn’t bother her
Last names are a mystery and first names are a blur
Maybe when she’s done with sin she’ll settle down at last
Says “why they call it ‘sloe gin’ when it works so damned fast?”
She’s a starling she’s a swan – discount whore of Babylon
Tear your heart out by the roots – Magdalene in go-go boots
Holy Mary pray for us
Holy Mary pray for us
Mata Hari pray for us
Mata Hari pray for us
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12. |
||||
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I wanna walk around and kick the tires of your mind
Trace the laces to the places and embrace them as they subtly unwind
Sid my Vicious you’re delicious
Stars and garters – do my dishes
Pass me the bottle and I’ll coddle the floor model of your mind
I wanna take a trip to your cerebral petting zoo
I know there ain’t no cages just the pages of the ages that is you
I can’t recant you’re too enchanting
Raise my rent and rave my ranting
I’ll creep behind the keeper as he sleeps beside the zebras of your mind
I wanna tie one on in the nightclub of your mind
Travel down underground and buy a round for any clown that I can find
Truth be told you’re good as gold
Hot patootie – bless my soul
I’ll order up a porter and a quarter for the jukebox of your mind
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13. |
Mercyfuck (acoustic)
02:42
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I’m not amused anymore
And nothing’s a muse anymore
I sing of love and of hate
But I’m just masturbating my soul
And I don’t wanna live anymore
And I don’t wanna give anymore
If I fawn if I flirt, I just keep getting hurt
And it’s taken its toll
I wish I could fuck all my sorrow away
And fuck ‘til the dawn of the next fucking day
Fuck the chorus and verse, fuck the pain getting worse
Fuck it all ‘til I burn
I wish I could fuck all of you ‘til you see
I’m the worst fuck-up in all history
Fuck your image and mine, fuck your limp valentine
Fuck it all ‘til I learn
I’m not a kid anymore
I don’t know what I did anymore
But on every damn pass, karma bushwhacks my ass
And I get it all back
And I don’t want to move anymore
I’ve got nothing to prove anymore
If I run if I sit still it all turns to shit
Then it turns to attack
I wish I could fuck all my sorrow away
And fuck ‘til the dawn of the next fucking day
Fuck the chorus and verse, fuck the pain getting worse
Fuck it all ‘til I burn
I wish I could fuck all of you ‘til you see
I’m the worst fuck-up in all history
Fuck your image and mine, fuck your limp valentine
Fuck it all ‘til I learn
I wish I could fuck all the memory I keep
Fuck the next ten years and just go to sleep
I’m fucked if I do and I’m fucked if I say
I’m fucked if I don’t, so I’m fucked anyway
I wish I could fuck all of you ‘til you see
I don’t need your mercyfuck sympathy
Fuck your words and your prayers
Fuck your stares and my cares
Fuck it all ‘til I learn
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14. |
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Baby you’re a poseur
Honey I should know
You ask me where the shows are
But then you never go
Poseur Purgatory
Awaits you at the end
But that’s not my story
I’ll tell you why my friend
Got my Marten’s on with steely toes
Spike my hair and pierce my nose
I’m goin’ up to Punk Rock Heaven
Hippy Hell awaits you, Jack
Unless you take that tie-dye off your back
And jump the track to Punk Rock Heaven
The smack up there is pearly white
There’s always time to pick a fight
The leather pants are nice and tight
The Pistols play there every night
Got my guitar and my drum
Hey Johnny Thunders, here I come
Coming up to Punk Rock Heaven
The smack up there is white as snow
Pack my bags, man – here I go
Maybe in an hour or so
I’ll catch a G.G. Allin show
Hey every junkie, punk and freak
If Manic Panic makes you weak
Then follow me and catch that train
Pleased to meet you, Kurt Cobain
I need a mohawked, tattooed, flannel-clad
Combat-booted lovely lad
To take me up to Punk Rock Heaven
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15. |
Art Fag Bastard (LIVE)
01:51
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He'd invite me over
When his girl was out of town
We'd watch a film with subtitles
And then we'd fool around
German Existentialism
Gave him such a thrill
He used the word "cinematography"
So much it made me ill
He told me that Paul Westerberg
Invented modern Rock
He talked about his year abroad
In the former Soviet Bloc
Then he'd tell me all about
Where Kerouac went wrong
Go back to Prague, you art fag bastard
That's where you belong
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Mary Prankster
Lyrically merciless, genre-promiscuous Charm City cult hero with a fanbase of thinking men's men and fierce, god-like women. Sign up for the mailing list at maryprankster.com for info on new tunes and more...
Mary Prankster recommends:
When this came out in 2003 I played the CD 'til it BROKE. Smart, catchy, beautifully rendered alt-rock goodness. Singer/songwriter/guitarist Val Yumm made me feel seen AND rocked my socks off.
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